I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
