Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think I sprained my soul last night
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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