And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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