He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
