Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
