like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
