I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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