You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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