I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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