Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
