All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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