girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
