dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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