I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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