well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
