In America we eat man semen.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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