laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
