Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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