I have demons in me.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
