I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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