Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
