i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
