The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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