So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
