real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
