i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
