So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
