every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
