my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
