I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
