She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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