Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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