We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
