In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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