1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize