Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize