i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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