Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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