so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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