you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
