i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
