Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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