these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
