I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
