he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
