Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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