He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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