Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
