I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
