like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
