thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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