mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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