i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
