Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i out mim tonsoeep
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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