wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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