I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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