i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
